


Melody of Two Different Worlds

by sunshine_kitcat (moonkevin)



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Band Fic, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fate is a bitch, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, basically erics a trumpet and sunwoos a drummer and they fight, but whats new
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26272768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonkevin/pseuds/sunshine_kitcat
Summary: “It can’t be that hard to give a compliment. I bet you’re just jealous,” Eric teases, an easy smile on his face. Sunwoo’s eyebrows knit together.“Am not,” he argues, huffing silently, “I bet we sound way better than you.”Eric raises an eyebrow. No one, not even his crush, gets to diss his quintet like that. They may not be the best, sure, but who isSunwooto say such a thing?
Relationships: Kim Sunwoo/Son Youngjae | Eric, implied moonbae
Comments: 12
Kudos: 86





	Melody of Two Different Worlds

_ Tap, tap, tap. _

_ Crash! _

Sunwoo starts drumming a basic beat, grooving silently as he starts the song. The other members of the band clap along, vibing with the beat. A smile spreads on Sunwoo’s face. This is familiar. This is the best part of his day.

“You got two black eyes from loving too hard, and a black car that matches your blackest soul. I wouldn’t change you, no, wouldn’t ever try to make you leave, no,” Jacob starts singing, strumming the beginning of the melody on his guitar. He’s a peculiar guitarist, more on the laid back side with his cool senior image. He even wears his blazer as he’s playing, a relaxed grip to his hand. There’s a lazy smile on his face, the very image of serenity as he leads the band silently. He always looked his best playing the band’s original songs, but Jacob’s like a chameleon. He could absolutely go crazy if needed.

“Oh the neon cost was your sign, and the Midwest wind and Pisces Rising. I wouldn’t change you, no, wouldn’t ever try to make you leave, no,” Kevin continues, the other laid back member of their band. He’s a little more random, able to transform into an absolute madman on stage, but knocking out like a koala the moment you mention homework in front of him. As one third of the band's composing unit, Kevin is the quiet powerhouse that drives the band, despite his more simple position on the synths.

“Static palms melt your vibes, midnight whisperings,” Sunwoo sings softly, keeping his rhythm laid back to match the song’s vibes. He’s not sure where he fits in with the musicality of the band, but the others would call him their rock. He’s a calm drummer, not much of a powerhouse or energy driver. He leaves that for their lead guitarist, anyway… 

“The black magic of Mulholland Drive, swimming pools under desert skies, drinking white wine in the blushing light, just another LA devotee,” Haknyeon sings, a wide grin on his face. He’s the guitar prodigy they picked up this year, along with Sunwoo. In contrast to his normally studious disposition, Haknyeon is somewhat of a maniac when you give him a guitar. Most of the time, Sunwoo doesn’t know if he should be afraid of him. Haknyeon carries their energy single-handedly on his back, and Sunwoo wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Sunsets on the evil eye, invisible to the Hollywood shrine. Always on the hunt for a little more time, just another LA devotee,” Sangyeon continues, a wide smile on his face. As the other 3rd year and the eldest in the band, he acts as the leader of both the club and the band. The very image of a fun but responsible artist, Sangyeon probably single-handedly composes half of their songs. He’s a reliable older brother to Sunwoo, as well as a reliable backtrack to their sound. Sunwoo supposes the bass was the perfect instrument for someone like him.

The rest of the song goes about how it usually does. They’re not perfect, per se, missing that last 1% they only tap into for performances. Haknyeon leads their energy to the climax of the song, exploding in one big boom as Sunwoo dares to go a little crazier. TBZ is Creker Art Academy’s very own light music band, having gone strong for the past year since its creation. Last year, they weren’t particularly active, missing a drummer and all. Sunwoo was scouted almost immediately, dragged in by an over enthusiastic Haknyeon who refused to let him become a sports kid and join the soccer team. Sunwoo supposes he fits better as a musician anyway, but he won’t let Haknyeon have that satisfaction. Besides, this will just be one more club for him to tell his parents about over the phone.

“Just another LA devotee,” they finish in unison, bright smiles on their faces as the last of the sound echoes off the music room walls. Silence takes over for three seconds, hanging in the air before slow clapping fills the music room. Sunwoo looks over to the door, where Wendy, their teacher advisor, is watching with a proud smile.

“At this rate,” Wendy begins enthusiastically, “you kids are gonna be ready for the school festival in no time.”

Sunwoo grins. “You think so?” Sunwoo asks, sounding a little  _ too _ excited. Wendy nods before sighing and holding up a sheet of paper.

“Remember to fill out the gym reservation form!” Wendy reminds, setting the paper onto a nearby desk. Sangyeon sighs.

“I didn’t sign up to be club leader for paperwork…” he mutters. Jacob laughs, taking his guitar off of his shoulders as he starts to stretch.

“This is why I didn’t take the role,” Jacob jokes, picking up his water bottle. “I’m gonna head home now. Sunwoo, you’re going with your brother today, right?”

Sunwoo freezes, eyes widening. Right. Younghoon. He was supposed to meet him… 

“Shit, I’m late!” Sunwoo yells, practically jumping out of his seat to scramble for his things. His bandmates laugh at his misery, the backstabbing bastards, yelling goodbyes as Sunwoo runs out of the music room.

Yeah, this is his favourite part of the day.

Eric sighs, ruffling his hair as he sets his trumpet down. They sound good, sure, but there’s something… missing about their sound.

“We need to do this forte-piano more smoothly,” Hyunjae points out, tapping his pencil against the sheet music in front of him. Eric nods along, circling the dynamic for good measure. Mindlessly, he fiddles with his trumpet’s pistons, looking around to the rest of his quintet.

“Let’s do one more round and pack up,” Hyunjae suggests, holding up his trumpet. They comply easily, readying their instruments. ‘This Is Berk’ has been giving them problems for the past week, and everyone is anxious to finally  _ get it right _ .

Chanhee and Changmin start, brass sound vibrating in the air. Changmin’s playing is calm and beautiful, almost a haunting melody as it echoes off the walls. His french horn is a dingy and old secondhand from his older sister, but Changmin cherishes the thing like it was his own baby. He’s a quiet and hardworking guy, not one to look for the spotlight. Regardless, Eric thinks he’s the absolute key to this quintet with his unique timbre and lively personality. His duality is almost scary, but Eric thinks he’s half the reason rehearsals are so fun.

Hyunjoon joins in next, trombone skills and musicality so great he managed to replicate that classic folk feeling from the original piece on a brass instrument. Hyunjoon is their token prodigy, a powerhouse and genius of his craft. Eric has been friends with him since forever and despite them learning and practicing together, it’s easy to feel small against a player of Hyunjoon’s forte. Somehow, he still makes Eric feel like a valuable part of their ensemble. If pure talent existed, it took the form of Heo Hyunjoon.

As the piece starts to reach its first buildup, Eric refocuses. He enters as they hit the forte explosion Eric loved to play. It’s big. It’s loud. It’s every bit the vibrant energy his style preferred. Hyunjae is his trumpet partner, a reliable leader at times like this, and an absolute goof the moment rehearsals end. Mischievous but bright in nature, Eric thinks Hyunjae is probably him but two years later. In some alternate universe, they could probably even be brothers.

The piece transitions to a lower tone, letting Chanhee take over on his tuba. His sound is powerful and strong, unlike his delicate and lithe form. Eric nearly had whiplash seeing him play for the first time. He had always known tubas to be on the subtler side, often given the typical long notes and thumping bass sound. Chanhee is a more powerful player, however, exploding with ferocity in his mini-solo. He’s half the reason they picked this piece, and to say Chanhee delivered would be an understatement.

The rest of the piece continues almost flawlessly, the best run they’ve had yet in their week-long practice. The more dark and gritty tones of the piece’s halfway point accentuates their great synergy, sound weaving in and out of one another. Eric likes to think of it as their styles clashing in some kind of battle, yet instead of pure chaos, they achieve a kind of powerful and raw sound instead.

It’s similar to their dynamic in ways Eric can’t explain, from how easily they can joke and prank one another to how serious they can be with the right motivation. It’s their secret, really.

The song transitions into a quieter section, the group pulling back as Eric dares to look up from his music for one second. He spots a familiar face watching from the window of the practice room, absolutely enticed with the piece. Eric risks a small smirk before returning to his piece. They have an audience now. Eric likes to think he works best with someone other than his bandmates watching.

The energy that he carries for the rest of the piece is almost uncanny. They’ve rearranged the piece to mix with ‘Coming Back Around’ to maximize the climax of the piece. Their sound explodes at the climax with a certainty Eric hasn’t felt in a really long time. It feels… absolutely amazing, he thinks. He looks up again, meeting their audience’s eyes with mischievousness.

Kim Sunwoo, drummer of TBZ, the school’s light music band… 

…and Eric’s long time crush. He’s always been a fool trying to find a way to impress him. But now, Eric supposes he’s been looking at the wrong method this entire time. His most powerful weapon had been at his disposal this entire time.

The piece concludes with fanfare, rising into another climax as they let the last note hover in the air. Eric sets his trumpet down gently, not daring to break the magic they’ve created in the last four minutes.

“Hey Eric, isn’t that your—” Hyunjoon begins, pointing at the window. Eric shushes him frantically, jumping up and practically running out of the practice room. Chanhee calls out teasing remarks after him, which Eric rolls his eyes at and ultimately ignores. He stops at the practice room doorway and attempts to smooth out his ruffled hair out before flashing Sunwoo a cheeky grin.

“Like what you heard?” Eric taunts, a teasing smile on his face. Sunwoo’s cheeks dust red.

“You guys weren’t bad,” Sunwoo grumbles, signature tsundere face coming to life. Eric hasn’t known him for long, filing Sunwoo away as the grumpy sports kid ever since fifth grade. The first time he had really noticed Sunwoo was at the school festival at their old middle school, when Sunwoo filled in for the band as their drummer. Almost instantly, Eric had fallen head over heels for the supposed sports kid who had been casted into a new light. It didn’t help that Sunwoo was the one to offer Eric a helping hand right afterwards, helping him clean up the music room. Even sports kids can be cool, Eric supposes. Hyunjoon called him ridiculous for it, but Eric’s never been stopped by the simple words of Heo Hyunjoon.

“It can’t be that hard to give a compliment. I bet you’re just jealous,” Eric teases, an easy smile on his face. Sunwoo’s eyebrows knit together.

“Am not,” he argues, huffing silently, “I bet we sound way better than you.”

Eric raises an eyebrow. No one, not even his crush, gets to diss his quintet like that. They may not be the best, sure, but who is  _ Sunwoo _ to say such a thing?

“What are you willing to bet on?” Eric retorts. This should be an easy bet. He’ll show Sunwoo who the better band is  _ and _ collect a nice reward for it, too. Sunwoo’s gaze flickers up and down Eric’s figure, probably sizing him up. Eric’s lips reflexively curl up mischievously, to which Sunwoo only snarls at.

“Stop doing that,” Sunwoo snaps, brows furrowed. Instinctively, Eric smiles a little wider.

“Or what, you’ll kiss me?” Eric scoffs, being the annoying little demon that only comes out when someone really riles him up. Sunwoo growls, but doesn’t respond. Eric rolls his eyes.

“Ooo~” Eric teases, “you wanna kiss me so bad, huh?”

Before Sunwoo can retort, a loud voice calls out from the end of the hallway.

“Kim Sunwoo!” the voice yells, belonging to student council president and Sunwoo’s brother, Younghoon. Sunwoo grumbles, obviously conflicted. He shoulders past Eric, before stopping in his tracks and turning around to bore his gaze into Eric.

“School festival. Battle of the bands,” Sunwoo hisses, “we’re settling this. If I win, I don’t want to see you and your stupid little smirk anymore.”

Eric smirks and crosses his arms. “And if you lose, you owe me a date, pretty boy.”

The look Sunwoo throws him makes up for the world-crushing realization that follows when Chanhee points out how Eric is a  _ terrible _ flirt.

Whatever, this is all a part of his ultimate mastermind plan anyway.

“This is ridiculous,” Jacob deadpans, not sparing Sunwoo even a glance as he tunes his guitar. Sunwoo scowls.

“He issued a challenge! I can’t let him just get away with that!” Sunwoo argues, to which Jacob just rolls his eyes.

“You were the one who got defensive,” Jacob points out, “over what? Giving a compliment?”

Sunwoo’s cheeks flush red in embarrassment. “He was so annoying!” Sunwoo argues, “smirking like that! The bastard even dared putting a  _ date _ on the line?! What the hell?!”

Over by the corner of the room, Haknyeon’s snort interrupts Sunwoo’s rant. Sunwoo turns to him with a glare, to which Haknyeon only rolls his eyes at.

“Eric Sohn, right? If I didn’t know better I’d say you’ve got a crush on him,” Haknyeon points out, a smirk on his lips as he gulps down water. Sunwoo scowls, about to bite back when Sangyeon clears his throat.

“As absolutely hilarious as your little crush—”

“It’s not a crush!”

“—is, just make sure not to overwork yourself for this, okay?” Sangyeon finishes, giving Sunwoo a pointed look. Sunwoo sticks his tongue at Sangyeon, turning on his chair and pulling out his drumsticks.

Rehearsals go about as they usually would, going over new songs and choosing covers for an upcoming coffee house event at school. They’re not really a chill music kind of band, but the club needs event credits. For a brief moment, Sunwoo wonders if Eric’s quintet would be at the event too, suddenly missing his cue. The band stops, forward momentum halting because of his mistake. Sunwoo blinks, mentally chiding himself.

“Sorry,” Sunwoo mumbles, “got distracted.”

Haknyeon wiggles his eyebrows at Sunwoo, to which Sunwoo promptly throws his drumsticks at him.

“Sunwoo’s got a crush~” Haknyeon singsongs, every bit the annoying piece of shit that he is. Sunwoo practically jumps out of his stool with a red face, chasing him around and screaming bloody murder. Laughter echoes off the practice room walls, mixing with screeches of fear and angry curses. Sunwoo does  _ not _ have a crush on His Annoyingness, Eric Sohn, and that’s that. It doesn’t matter how good him and his band are, or how ridiculously attractive he is when he’s cocky, Sunwoo does  _ not _ have a crush on Eric.

Right?

“Oh my god,” Sunwoo stops in his tracks, halfway down the slope between school and his house. Younghoon looks back at him, confused.

“Sun? What’s wrong?” Younghoon asks, cocking his head to the side. Sunwoo shakes his head, starting to walk again. No, he refuses to admit it. Younghoon scoffs.

“Is this about that bet you had with the brass quintet kid? What was his name, Eric?” Younghoon teases, a smile on his face. Sunwoo scowls.

“It’s… complicated,” Sunwoo mutters. Younghoon quirks up the corner of his lips.

“It is really?” Younghoon asks, “it’s just a bet. Unless…”

Sunwoo looks away, knowing Younghoon can guess immediately if he gave his brother eye contact. Younghoon gasps.

“You like him, don’t you?!” Younghoon exclaims. Sunwoo growls.

“I do not!” Sunwoo argues, although he knows better than that. No one knows him better than his own brother. Not even his parents, although they’re rarely around these days.

Younghoon grins. “Oh, Juyeon is going to  _ love _ this. He can’t say I never bring anything fun to the student council meetings anymore!”

“So, how’s it going?” Chanhee starts, slamming his butt down onto the chair in front of Eric. Eric looks up from his manga, pushing up his glasses and giving Chanhee a look of confusion.

“How’s what going?” Eric asks carefully. His lunch is forgotten by his side, basically empty save for an apple. Chanhee rolls his eyes, reaching into Eric’s lunch pack to steal his apple. Eric is tempted to slap his hand away, but a well-fed Chanhee is a non-gossiping Chanhee, and Eric hasn’t known him for this long not to know Chanhee’s methods.

“Sunwoo. The bet,” Chanhee drawls, mouth half-full with the apple. Eric frowns.

“It’s going?” Eric responds carefully, “it’s not like I stalk their band to hear their progress, you know?”

Chanhee rolls his eyes again. At the rate Chanhee rolls his eyes, Eric half expects his eyes to roll off at some point.

“Not that,” Chanhee chides, lightly smacking Eric’s arm, “your crush! Have you even talked to him since your stupid idea?”

Eric scowls at the smack, hitting Chanhee’s arm back in retaliation before pursing his lips in thought. He supposes he hasn’t really seen Sunwoo as much as usual, for some odd reason. They share music class together, but percussion and trumpets don’t really talk much. Usually, Eric would see him around the hallways, yet every time he saw Sunwoo the latter seemed to be making a bee line in the opposite direction for some weird reason.

“No, I don’t think so,” Eric hums, frowning at the way Chanhee’s face splits into a grin.

“Music room’s booked next week for the festival,” Chanhee drawls, “and so we’re gonna have to cancel that last practice. We’re gonna scope out the competition, got it?”

Eric raises his brow. “What’s with this sudden fascination with the Light Music Club?”

Chanhee rolls his eyes again. Really, he should get that checked out.

“Because, the basis of all successful plans is knowing your enemy!” Chanhee exclaims, wagging a finger at Eric. Eric’s eyebrow remains raised, unconvinced. Chanhee sighs.

“Fine. I heard rumours about TBZ’s bassist looking ridiculously hot in practice and needed to verify for myself, happy?”

Really, Chanhee should’ve just started with that reasoning if he wanted to convince Eric.

_ BEEP BEEP BEEP. _

Sunwoo wakes up to a headache, as he always does. He cracks his eyes open blearily, cursing past Sunwoo for buying this  _ stupidly _ loud alarm. With a groan, Sunwoo smacks his alarm clock onto the ground, blinking rapidly as his eyes adjust to the bright sunlight coming through his window.

_ BEEP BEEP BEEP. _

Sunwoo frowns. Why wasn’t the alarm shutting off? He had just smacked—

“Kim Sunwoo, did you fall asleep on your drum kit again?” Younghoon tutts, cutting Sunwoo out of his daze and snapping him to attention. Sunwoo blinks, glancing at his surroundings. There’s a terrible crick in his neck, a stray string of drool on the corner of his mouth. The mute on the base drum is barely on the actual instrument at this point, probably fallen off when Sunwoo slumped backwards on his stool and kicked it off. Sunwoo frowns.

“Huh, I suppose I did,” Sunwoo mutters. Younghoon rolls his eyes, tossing Sunwoo his school blazer and toppling Sunwoo over with a smirk. Sunwoo yelps as he falls, mentally cursing out Younghoon.

“Hurry up,” Younghoon chides, “the festival’s starting in three days and I have way too many shipments to take care of.”

Sunwoo grumbles, picking himself off of the floor as he gets ready for an early day at school.

Haknyeon is waiting for him at their typical spot, tapping his foot impatiently as his hands mime out chords. Sunwoo grins. He’s not the only one practicing last minute, it seems.

“Ah shit,” Younghoon mutters as they approach the bus stop, stopping suddenly to check his pockets, “I forgot the keys to the equipment room.”

Sunwoo snickers at his brother, waving him goodbye as he continues ahead. “See you at school then?” Sunwoo asks. Younghoon nods, running back home for his precious keys. Haknyeon doesn’t notice him until Sunwoo is practically next to him, too engrossed in air-guitaring. Sunwoo grins, taking the opportunity to flick Hakneyon’s forehead.

“Ow!” Haknyeon yelps, flinching as he rubs the spot, “What was that for?!”

Sunwoo smirks. “Revenge. For calling my bet a goddamn crush,” Sunwoo points out. Haknyeon pouts, rubbing his forehead as he glares at Sunwoo.

“For the record, this is totally crush behaviour and you know it,” Haknyeon accuses, poking Sunwoo’s chest. Sunwoo rolls his eyes.

“Please,” Sunwoo scoffs, “the only way this bet becomes a crush is if we were in a drama and he falls onto me or something stupid like that.”

Before Haknyeon can retort, the bus rolls up, screeching to a halt as the door slides open. As Sunwoo starts to board the bus, a loud demon bolts down the street, startling Sunwoo. Before Sunwoo can even turn his head to face the demon, it crashes into him, toppling them both over as Sunwoo yelps. They fall to the ground with a loud  _ thud _ , the demon hovering mere inches on top of him. Sunwoo’s face twists in rage.

“Watch where you’re going, jackass!” Sunwoo curses, gaze hardening as he registers his demon’s face. Bright blond hair peeks out at odd angles, a cute (did he say cute? Sunwoo meant stupid looking) pair of glasses on the tip of his nose. There’s a panicked look on the demon’s face, rushed apologies all stringing together into one big slur. A part of Sunwoo finds it adorable, but that thought is quickly shut down.

(Sunwoo’s breath catches in his throat for some  _ ridiculous _ reason, but he won’t admit that. Haknyeon is  _ right there _ and he’ll never let Sunwoo live this down.)

“I’m so sorry,” Eric mutters, quickly rolling off to the side and offering a hand to help Sunwoo up. Sunwoo scowls, debating smacking it away when Haknyeon’s loud guffaw interrupts him.

“The day he falls onto you, huh?” Haknyeon teases, leaving a confused Eric and an  _ extremely  _ annoyed Sunwoo.

“Shut up,” Sunwoo growls, standing up by himself and shouldering past them both.

Even Jacob laughs at him that day, which means Sunwoo has to add one more person to his to-murder list.

Eric groans as he’s dragged down the music room hallway by an overenthusiastic Chanhee. Of course, being able to peep at the _one and only_ _Lee Sangyeon_ while he’s playing bass is an absolute blessing in and of itself, but Eric would much rather not have to face Sunwoo again.

“You two are literally meant to be,” Chanhee rambles, “you even fell on top of him! Like, what are the chances? Clearly, we’re all in some kind of drama that I don’t know about and you two are the protagonists!”

Eric sighs. “I was late, Chanhee. It’s not romance,” Eric deadpans, to which Chanhee rolls his eyes at.

“You uncultured swines are the reason romance is dead nowadays,” Chanhee mutters, tugging Eric by the shirt collar as Eric’s butt slides all over the ground. He could run, sure, but Chanhee is surprisingly strong. Eric supposes all those years spent lugging a 14 kilo instrument around does that to someone.

“We’re just staying for  _ one _ song, got it?” Eric mutters as a last ditch effort. Chanhee sighs.

“Fine. Three minutes is enough for me.”

TBZ are mid-practice when they arrive, jamming out to a song Eric doesn’t recognize. He suspects it might be an original, a testament to the band’s genius. It reminds him of Hyunjae and Changmin’s rearrangement talent, turning virtually any song into a quintet piece. The song TBZ is playing feels soft and gentle, probably designed for the coffee house event at the start of the school festival. The band’s synth player Kevin Moon is singing, voice almost honey-like as he meets gaze with one of his bandmates. They’re dating, if memory serves. Eric wonders what the atmosphere must be like with an actual couple in the band and not just a bunch of lonely singles trying to use music to substitute for human connection.

“Oh my god I think that’s him,” Chanhee mutters, pointing at the bassist near the window. Eric’s jaw drops open, gaping as he takes in the sight. Lee Sangyeon is every bit the rumoured legend of beauty they say he is, blazer off and sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he plays a comfortable beat. His hair is barely styled, almost tussled as if he was tearing them out from frustration earlier. His bass is the colour of black cherries, no patterns painted on the freshly-glossed face. His fingers are calloused yet light on the strings, the sign of long hours of practice.

If Eric didn’t have the biggest crush on one Kim Sunwoo, Sangyeon would probably be the guy of his dreams.

Speaking of Sunwoo… 

“Why is he hot? This is so unfair,” Eric mutters, slurring his words together as he watches Sunwoo play with a lazy smile on his face. He’s every bit the pretty boy Eric fell in love with last year, from the messy chestnut-brown hair to the explosive yet relaxed flick to his wrists. His hands are covered with finger gloves, either a stylistic or deliberate choice given the slightly chilly breeze from the A/C unit right behind him. Eric remembers those same hands offering to help him up when he was struggling to drag a cart of folded chairs back from the gym, that one fateful night. Some part of him finds it ridiculous he’s so infatuated, but Kim Sunwoo is every bit a hidden heartthrob.

“Peeping on our practice?” a voice calls out behind Eric, snapping him out of his daze. Eric jumps, nearly hitting the windowsill as he whirls around. TBZ’s lead guitarist and witness of the earlier bus incident comes into view, a delighted grin on his face.

“What we do is none of your business,” Chanhee jumps in to save the day, “clubs aren’t exclusive to watchers, you know?”

Haknyeon shrugs. “I don’t mind an audience, but Sunwoo doesn’t like practicing with a peeper. I’d ask you to leave, but as long as you stay out of sight you can peek all you want.”

Eric frowns. “How did you know we’re here to watch Sangyeon?” Eric blurts out, before realizing his rookie mistake and slapping a hand over his mouth. Haknyeon raises an eyebrow.

“Everyone does. Although…” Haknyeon begins, a smirk on his face as he looks at Eric.

“You’re here to peek at someone else, aren’t you?”

Sunwoo grumbles, storming down the hallway to the gym with a scowl. Younghoon had forgotten to get dodgeballs for the senior’s event, and being the busy student council president that he is, texted Sunwoo to help him get them from the equipment room. Of course, it didn’t matter if Sunwoo was currently peacefully enjoying his spare. Sunwoo sighs. Younghoon really is too forgetful.

As Sunwoo rounds the corner into the equipment room, scanning the various tags for the dodgeballs, a familiar demon face pops into view. Sunwoo freezes glancing around desperately for a hiding place, finding his saviour in a nearby empty closet. He jumps into the closet, leaving the door slightly ajar as he tries to ignore the demon’s confused noises.

“Sunwoo? What are you doing?” Eric asks, popping his stupid looking (read: adorable) face past the closet door. Sunwoo’s cheeks heat up in embarrassment, about to bolt when Eric opens the door to face him. Before he can react, Eric trips on virtually thin air (again) and falls inwards, bringing with him the closet door in some stupid cliche trope as they crash together. Sunwoo ends up in the closet with a demon on top of him and a soft  _ click _ of the door’s automatic lock.

Sunwoo would like to tell whatever being responsible for his luck to  _ fuck off _ .

“Oh my fucking god,” Sunwoo growls, “you idiot.”

Eric flushes, scrambling backwards to the other side of the closet.

“Um,” he begins, sheepishly scratching the back of his head as his expression shifts into slight fear, “sorry. I just… trip a lot.”

A small part of Sunwoo jumps at the way Eric seems hesitant to even talk to Sunwoo out of fear, barely overshadowing Sunwoo’s incessant annoyance with his luck.

“No, I’m sorry for snapping,” Sunwoo mutters, rubbing the bump on the back of his head from banging into the closet’s side. Eric’s hand reaches out, as if about to comfort him when it hesitates. Sunwoo winces. Has he been too harsh? Why is he so apprehensive against Eric anyway?

Silence falls over them, somehow not suffocating. Sunwoo spends a little too long staring at the way Eric’s expression shifts from hesitance to relief, mentally realizing the cute button nose on his face. The tiny Haknyeon voice in the back of Sunwoo’s head calls it a crush.

“Shut up,” Sunwoo mutters, making Eric flinch. Realizing he had spoken out loud, Sunwoo hurriedly shakes his hands.

“Not at you, at the voice… look, just don’t— it wasn’t about you,” Sunwoo stammers, watching Eric’s face morph into confusion. Sunwoo groans, mentally facepalming.

“You know,” Eric pointed out, “if you hated me so much, you should probably call someone to get us out of here.”

Sunwoo winces. “I don’t… I don’t hate you.”

Eric raises a brow. “Could've had me fooled,” Eric deadpans, crossing his arms. Sunwoo groans, pursing his lips as he tries to find his words.

“I don’t hate you,” Sunwoo repeats, scratching the back of his neck, “I just… you make me flustered, that’s all. I’m… a little blunt sometimes.”

Eric is silent, confusion on his expression. “I fluster you,” he repeats, slowly punctuating the words before scoffing. “Dude you sound like you have a crush or something.”

Sunwoo’s cheeks flare up red. “I do not!” he shouts defensively, practically leaping at Eric as much as the tiny closet would allow him. Eric recoils, placing a hand on Sunwoo’s chest to keep him at bay. His hands are small, a small part of Sunwoo’s brain registers.

“Shut up,” Sunwoo mutters again, making Eric smirk.

“Is this the same random voice in your head again?” Eric teases, that evil smirk on his face widening the deeper Sunwoo scowls.

“This one was at you,” Sunwoo growls. Eric laughs, somehow no longer threatened by Sunwoo. A part of Sunwoo wants to scream because Eric is even  _ more _ adorable when he laughs and no, this is  _ not _ because Sunwoo has a crush on him. Eric is just objectively adorable.

“Sure, pretty boy. I’ll have to make sure to collect my end of the bet, then,” Eric teases, reaching up to boop Sunwoo’s nose. Anger flares in Sunwoo’s stomach.

“You little—” Sunwo begins to hiss, only to be interrupted as the closet door swings open. Eric’s quintet mate Chanhee comes into view in all of his glory, complete with a shocked expression and open phone.

“Um,” Sunwoo begins, cheeks heating up.

This is bad.

Before Sunwoo can flinch, Chanhee swipes up on his phone and starts dialing a number, eliciting shouts of protest from both Sunwoo and Eric.

“Eric, you didn’t tell me you two already kissed?! Oh my god, Minnie is  _ not _ going to believe this—” Chanhee begins, delightedly waving his phone in the air. Eric jumps at him, trying to smash the end call button as Sunwoo’s face reddens.

“We weren’t kissing, it was an accident!” Eric yells, equally red as Chanhee laughs at them both.

“Keep telling yourselves that!”

Eric yawns, stretching as he locks up his instrument for the night. The white digits of ‘11:49 PM’ on his phone glares at him, along with several reminders not to overwork from his bandmates and parents. Eric manages a small smile at the sight, tucking the phone into his pockets.

Tonight was a night of last minute practice and prep work for the school festival tomorrow, and with Eric being the model music student that he is, he’s staying overnight to make sure the next day’s student compositions and performances go as planned.

Also, Eric’s heard rumours of a practice ghost around school, and he really just wants to check it out.

As Eric tiptoes to Music Room #3 with a phone flashlight, silence fills the hallway, almost eerily so. From what Changmin’s told him, the practice ghost only plays from midnight until 2AM, disappearing without a trace whenever someone comes into the room. The lights are never on, and the only thing the janitors ever find is a wet spot on the snare mute. It’s been happening for the past three days, a bit of a legend within the music department kids.

Eric had to check it out.

“Hello?” Eric asks, stepping into the music room. He waves his flashlight around, trying to spot a single soul to ultimately find nothing. Eric sighs, unpacking his sleeping bag behind the row of percussion. He pauses for a moment to check his phone, now reading just three minutes before midnight. Eric grins. This ghost is  _ so _ gonna get busted.

Eric lets himself be lulled by the sounds of the night for the few minutes, listening to the crickets chirp outside. One of the lights is faulty, blinking intermittently as Eric unconsciously recognizes it as rhythms to one of his practice pieces. Eric blinks out of his daze and sighs. He’s been a bit of a practice nut lately, hasn’t he?

Almost on cue, the music room door swings open to reveal his mysterious ghost. Eric jumps, scrambling to hide behind the timpanis as he watches a light sweep over the room. Eric crouches a little further down, trying to peep for a face as the figure makes a beeline for the drum set. Eric’s eyes widen as the figure sits down, pulling off a mask and setting down a phone.

If Sunwoo was pretty in the sunlight, he’s positively ethereal in the moonlight. Freshly dyed red fringe falls between his eyes, the silver moonlight illuminating his tanned features as Sunwoo pulls out a pair of drumsticks. Eric sucks in a breath as he watches Sunwoo tap something on his phone, a soft melody of some jazz cover of ghibli music fills the room. Sunwoo smiles lazily, starting to drum the beats to the piece as his head sways back and forth to the beat, body absorbing the music. Eric watches with rapt attention, feeling like he’s falling for the beautiful sunkissed boy under the moonlight all over again. Before he realized it, a song had passed, the final notes of Sunwoo’s bandmates’ instruments fading in the air. Sunwoo sighs, setting down his sticks as he taps something on his phone.

“Eric, you’d make a terrible spy,” Sunwoo calls into the air, startling Eric. Sheepish, Eric peeks out from behind his cover, scratching the back of his neck.

“I guess I’m not the only one squeezing in last minute practices, huh?” Eric mutters in an attempt to cover his tracks. Thankfully, Sunwoo seems to have fallen for it, a smile on his lips as he shrugs.

“My brother stays here extra late for the festival, so I just tagged along. My parents are out of town,” Sunwoo explains, before suddenly pausing. He reaches down to his bag and rummages for something, later emerging with a lollipop. Eric raises a brow in confusion.

“A peace offering,” Sunwoo drawls, a small smile on his lips, “and an apology for all the shipping lately.”

Eric grins, accepting the candy gingerly. “What about the bet?” Eric asks. Sunwoo shrugs, leaning backwards as he crosses his arms.

“I guess… neither outcome is ideal at this point, but I’d still like to win for the sake of it,” Sunwoo drawls, pursing his lips nervously. Eric pulls up a nearby chair and sits on it backwards, sticking his new sugared tool of anti-sleep into his mouth as he grins at Sunwoo.

“What if it’s a tie?” Eric points out, “we never discussed that.”

Sunwoo hums in thought, biting the insides of his cheeks in an absolutely adorable fashion.

“Friends?” Sunwoo proposes, “or something else? We can cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Eric shrugs. “Fine by me. By the way, are you guys doing Ghibli for the coffee house event?”

The rest of the night is spent with soft jazz covers and anecdotes, shared between half-whispers and muffled laughter. Sunwoo is surprisingly similar to Eric and is a fantastic conversationalist when he’s too tired to be scary. He’s like a scary raccoon who would normally bite your head off, only to be a cute and cuddly little baby when well fed and sleepy. Eric discovers Sunwoo is a secret Red Velvet stan who’s listening to Sunny Side Up at least forty percent of the time, and in return shares his secret fascination of baseball when he was little. Sunwoo calls Eric’s bias towards sports kids irrational but somewhat fair, given what he knows from being on the soccer team. They share the same dream of becoming instrumentalists, along with a wicked sense of humour and opinion on the really chill music department head, Wendy.

At some point in the night, practice is forgotten as they sit by the open window with snacks, exchanging stories with a soft smile. The moonlight serves as the only witness to their secret rendezvous, silver light keeping them company when the light outside fizzled out completely. Sunwoo is another light that night, animated when talking about his interests. At some point, any possible tension between them melts, leaving nothing but the warm buzz of Eric’s thumping heart and the bright glow to Sunwoo’s aura.

Somewhat too soon, exhaustion takes over and Eric slumps onto Sunwoo’s open lap, too tired to hold himself up. Sunwoo doesn’t seem to fare much better, eyelids starting to droop close. His smile is still as beautiful as it was a few moments ago, and Eric wonders how they ended up here. Just a few hours ago, Sunwoo was threatening to bite off his head, and yet here he is. Eric dares to hope it’s the exhaustion bringing out Sunwoo’s true thoughts, entertaining the mere possibility that one day, he could rest his head in an angel’s lap again.

He’s asleep when the sun kissed boy of his moonlit dream places a feather light kiss onto his temple, so no one is the wiser.

The morning of the school festival, Sunwoo is so nervous he could combust.

He’s basically been living at school for the better part of the week, between Younghoon trying to push for some big new event that takes up way too much time and Sunwoo’s own reluctance to go home to an empty house. His parents had promised they’d make it home in time for the show, but with recent forecasts predicting a major storm at their end of the world, Sunwoo wonders if they can even make it back by the weekend.

He doesn’t know why he’s so sad, per se. This wouldn’t be the first time they’ve missed an important event in his life, the last one Sunwoo can recall being his third grade soccer game. Younghoon more than substitutes as family, being the one to practically raise Sunwoo since he was little. He’s made friends, too, of course, from the loud neighbourhood prankster Haknyeon to his new midnight practice buddy Eric, both guaranteed to be there for Sunwoo’s first official show.

Speaking of Eric… 

“So you got a boyfriend?” Younghoon teases, dropping in extra bacon into Sunwoo’s plate as a mischievous grin blooms on his face. Sunwoo groans, but hesitates to respond for a little too long. Younghoon sets the pan into the sink, right eyebrow raised.

“Wait, did you really?” Younghoon asks, suddenly serious. Sunwoo frowns, pushing his food around as he recalls the memory of that dreamlike night. The morning after was as much of a blessing as the night was, soft morning sunlight grazing the tips of Eric’s blond hair in a way that makes Sunwoo’s heart drop to his stomach. Younghoon had been the one to find them, an hour before school started to usher them home for a shower and a hot meal. Sunwoo had been teased endlessly all the way back home, unable to retort properly when it comes to his all-knowing brother.

“Have you ever been in love, Younghoon?” Sunwoo asks, voice small. Younghoon gives him a mysterious smile, almost evil and smig in nature.

“Try me,” Younghoon counters, sitting down next to Sunwoo with his own breakfast. Sunwoo sighs, picking himself off of the table.

“How do you know if you’re in love? I mean, I barely even know him…” Sunwoo mutters, shoving scrambled eggs and bacon into his mouth. Younghoon hums in thought, lips pursed as if carefully picking out his words before turning to Sunwoo with a sigh.

“You’re in love, dear baby brother,” Younghoon states firmly, “now, you’ve just gotta make sure he doesn’t get away.”

“Hey, Eric,” Hyunjoon hisses, snapping Eric out of his focus, tuning his trumpet. Eric scowls, glaring at him.

“What?” Eric hisses, to which Hyunjoon gives him a cheshire smile and points towards the side of the stage.

“TBZ’s about to go on stage,” Hyunjoon whispers, almost on cue as Eric spots Sunwoo pushing a cart with his drum kit on stage. Before Eric can stop himself, he cups his hands around his mouth and inhales deeply.

“Sunwoo!” Eric calls out, watching as the other boy snaps to attention. Eric grins.

“Knock ‘em dead!” Eric yells, watching as a wide grin spreads on his face.

Hyunjoon drags him to the wings to listen to TBZ, where Eric plants himself firmly behind a set of velvet curtains for a perfect view of one perfect Kim Sunwoo. The band’s leader and Hot Bassist Dude Sangyeon is making an opening speech to welcome everyone to the music department’s 4 hour show. As the poster boys for the department, TBZ act as the opening act, and Eric can’t wait to see what they’ve brought.

They perform exclusively original pieces, all crowd pleasers and hype pieces. The lead guitarist, Haknyeon, goes absolutely nuts as he leads the band in an explosion of reds and oranges, vibrant and loud. His fellow guitarist Jacob is on the mellower side, more of a muted yellow that only pops out to show ridiculous technical riffs for his solo. Eric watches with rapt attention, mouth agape as he watches these bright warm shades mix perfectly with Kevin’s blue hues and Sangyeon’s calm green, almost like listening to a painting. Eric wonders if this is the magic of TBZ that leaves everyone in such awe.

Their songs are, for the most part, original love songs, surprisingly non-cringy ones Eric finds himself humming along to as they play. His group are the loudest singers, with Chanhee even joining Kevin and Sangyeon in their high notes and melodies. Whatever bet or rivalry that had previously occupied his brain seems to have slipped out, replaced with sheet awe and amazement that he shares departments with such talented people.

At some point, Eric’s focus lasers in on Sunwoo and wonders what colours he brings to this complex mix of a painting. His hair is messy and unkempt, a wild grin on his face as Sunwoo launches into a drum solo and Eric realizes with a start that Sunwoo isn’t just a colour. He’s a kaleidoscope, multifaceted and ethereal as he shifts from the gentle sways of hazel to the bright explosiveness of cherry-red. 

A part of Eric’s brain short-circuits at the sight, heart thumping at record high speeds as he realizes just how hopeless his crush is. Anyone in their right minds would fall for Sunwoo, and with a litter like the one in the crowd, what place does Eric have in the perfect garden that is Kim Sunwoo?

“Eric? You okay?” Hyunjoon whispers, slightly shaking Eric’s shoulders. Eric blinks, not realizing he had been silent for so long.

“Yeah,” Eric whispers, half-expecting his voice to fail him at any moment, “yeah, I’m fine.”

The rest of the concert continues on peacefully, no other group yet to surpass the sheer hype that was TBZ’s performance. Mere seconds after Sunwoo had stepped off stage, the chants for an encore loud and ringing in his ears, Sunwoo had practically collapsed in relief. They pulled it off. He pulled it off.

His parents were nowhere to be seen during the performance, as he expected, but Younghoon had made it in all of his glory. He was the loudest cheerer after Sunwoo’s solo, and if Sunwoo wasn’t so busy trying to give the show of his life, he probably would’ve cried right there and then.

As he retreats further backstage, Sunwoo’s eyes instinctively search for Eric, wanting to ask him about the performance, only to find him absolutely nowhere. Instead, Sunwoo comes face to face with brass quintet leader and other trumpet player Hyunjae, whose gaze bores into Sunwoo judgmentally. Sunwoo flinches.

“Um,” Sunwoo begins nervously, “have you seen Eric?”

Hyunjae grins, the near spitting image of Eric in terms of expression.

“If you hurt him,” Hyunjae drawls slowly, “I will smash your kneecaps with a rusted trombone slide, got it?”

Sunwoo gulps. He’s not sure what Hyunjae means, but he’s positively terrified anyway. “Yes sir,” Sunwoo mutters, curling into himself.

Hyunjae smiles. “Fantastic. Eric just forgot his mute and we’re on soon, so collect your bet later, would you?”

Sunwoo nods dumbly, watching as Hyunjae turns away to the rest of his bandmate. As he turns away, Sunwoo meets the terrifyingly cold eyes of french horn player Ji Changmin. Sunwoo has heard stories of his friends showing up to school with angry bite marks all over their bodies from daring to make him once. Sunwoo doesn’t intend on experiencing that.

He hides in the wings to listen to Eric’s band play, tucked away in the velvet curtains as the first notes of Hyunjoon’s trombone leads them on their five-piece Disney and Pixar marathon. The first is a rowdy version of Tangled’s ‘I’ve got a dream’, loud and exciting as they stir the audience awake for one more round. Sunwoo finds himself singing along softly to bits of the song he knows, revelling in the animated facials of the players themselves. Eric, in particular, stands out, blasting into an extensive trumpet solo for the bridge of the piece. He’s an almost 180 turn from the goofy kid Sunwoo fell for, now complete with dream-like visuals from the soft lighting reflecting off of his trumpet as he exchanges cleverly rearranged lines with Changmin, the horn player. If Sunwoo had to describe his sound, it’d be the warm rays of sunshine on a pleasant summer day, like the pure aura Eric seems to carry with him everywhere.

They transition into a funky, jazz-inspired version of ‘Almost there’, bright yellow aura changing into muted and hopeful maroons. There’s a kind of beauty to quintet music, blending in so many timbres to produce just one singular colour, in contrast to the rainbow painting Light Music bands create. Sunwoo finds it mesmerizing, along with the lilting yet catchy melodies from Eric’s own shade to the maroon atmosphere. He finds himself tracing the features on Eric’s face mentally, trying to commit this ethereal image of him to memory for later use. The song comes to an end too soon for Sunwoo, leaving a pool of want in his stomach as the next song begins explosively.

‘Touch the Sky’ is the lick of fresh air Sunwoo didn’t know he needed. The traditional folk sound of the original is replaced with a more chipper and bouncy tune Sunwoo finds himself tapping beats to unconsciously. The maroon becomes turquoise as he watches the fierce look in Eric’s eyes change to a muted yet happy glint. He sways to the beat, almost dancing and Sunwoo realizes just how much Eric plays with his whole body. Like an overenthusiastic puppy that can’t contain itself at the promise of freedom, Eric is practically carried away by his music, and Sunwoo can’t find the words to describe the flutter in his chest imagining such a scene. He wonders what Eric’d look like, carefree and happy with the Scottish air blowing through his hair.

The next piece dives into a more comical tone, complete with almost robot and overly eager faces as the first notes of ‘I’ll make a man out of you’ begins. Sunwoo grins, instantly recognizing the crowd pleasers as everyone joins in on singing the song. Sunwoo finds himself playing around with Kevin and Haknyeon, miming out actions and overenthusiastically belting out the lyrics. Eric looks his brightest in this piece, as if he was three seconds from bursting into laughter at all times. Sunwoo thinks back to the time in the closet, when he got to see the bright pink and orange that is Eric’s laughter, watching in awe as the same shades are painted once again in this piece. Dark red flies in the air as they pull through for the last chorus, everyone singing in unison and Sunwoo thinks  _ this _ is the real magic of music. To be able to unite so many in such simple ways. And to think, it’s coming from a small group of boys like Eric and his friends.

At long last came the piece this whole story of Sunwoo’s crush started with, the picturesque and cinematic marvel of ‘This is Berk’ and ‘Coming Back Around’ seemingly colliding in an awe-inspiring finale to this sweet childhood revisit. Sunwoo finds himself almost tearing up during the peaceful section, swaying along to the rhythmic pounds of the bass line and recalling the journey his heart took in the last few days. He supposes falling for Eric was inevitable, what with the way his animated features light up during the climax of the arrangement and the expert ease his finger aids his sound. Sunwoo finds himself in a whirlwind full of Eric’s music and memories, from the very song coming through his physical ears to the soothing half-whispers of Eric’s eccentric stories from last night. If Sunwoo could  _ somehow _ even describe a portion of the fluttering in his stomach, it’d best resemble fireworks and firecrackers on a joyful new year night, the cold breeze on their back and a warm body on his and—

Oh.

“I think I’m in love with him,” Sunwoo mutters, feeling himself fly with the music as Haknyeon pats his shoulder lightly, barely grounding Sunwoo.

“It’s about time you realized,” Haknyeon whispers back with a smile. And for once, Sunwoo has to agree.

“So,” Sunwoo’s voice cuts into Eric’s post-performance relief, like a knife through warm butter as Eric blinks himself back to reality.

“So…?” Eric repeats, slowly urging Sunwoo to finish his thought. He sets his trumpet onto a nearby table along with his music to give Sunwoo his undivided attention, who has the fondest grin on his face. Eric wonders who it’s for.

“You guys were amazing,” Sunwoo breathes, a look of respect in his eyes. Eric wants to shrink at the compliment, cheeks dusting pink in shyness.

“You guys were amazing, too,” Eric responds lightly, trying to think about how close Sunwoo is right now. A hand rests over Eric’s on top of his music, startling Eric as Sunwoo approaches impossibly close.

“No one won the bet then,” Sunwoo points out, “which means neither of us gets our conditions. I still see your stupid face around and you don’t take me out on a date.”

Eric frowns, wondering why Sunwoo was bringing this up when he’s  _ mere centimetres away from Eric _ . He gulps nervously.

“A tie, then? What do you suppose we—“

Oh.

The stories  _ really  _ don’t do these moments justice, do they?

Warmth explodes in Eric’s stomach, fluttering like a bunch of fireflies lighting up a dark night. The serenity of the moment is only interrupted by loud whistles and catcalls from their bandmates as Sunwoo pulls away with a soft, sheepish laugh.

“How about I take you out for a date instead?” Sunwoo proposes, a fond look in his eyes that makes Eric want to melt. The look was for him. The smiles, the touches, the words… they were real. And they were for him.

“Sure thing, pretty boy,” Eric whispers back, pulling Sunwoo in for another kiss as a different kind of melody travels between their fingertips.

A melody, one could say, of two different worlds.

“ _ The bright-coloured blue sky, resides right in your eyes. Oh, how I love that sight, babe _ .”

Two boys jump into a pool, hands entwined as the tunes of the end-of-warm season blasts in their ears, intertwined with the carefree laughter of friends both old and new.

“ _ The scent you send my way, Oh how I love its embrace. Whatever your breath touch would too anyway _ .”

One is kissed by the sun, tan skin a stark contrast to the smaller and paler boy in his arms. They hold onto each other underwater as one reaches out to cup the others’ face and pull him in for a kiss. They surface, earning whistles and teasing remarks from their audience. One laugh sheepishly, while the other flips off his friend.

“ _ The blue you you you. More I see you, more my heart blooms, you you oh you _ .”

The song is blasting over the speaker systems, a collaborative piece between two music groups none thought would ever interact, much less party and record together. But then again, that’s the magic of music, an instrument for fate to play with the heartstrings of mortal souls.

“ _ Oh, one by one, our story starts. This melody that holds both our hearts. One day I’ll show my part _ .”

The two boys find refuge in a smaller corner of the pool deck, sitting atop a pool chair as they lazily trace kisses and whispers along each other’s skin. The sun is the only one to pay attention to their moments, warming them both up as if fate was taking delight in one of its finer works.

“ _ Right now, everything could be mine. With your smile that makes the world so bright. The fireworks explode and you thunder in my world, I hope one day you will know _ .”

One of the boys leans up to the ear of the other one, whispering a soft ‘I love you’ as fondness drips from his tone. They say it like a secret, as if everyone else didn’t already know. Still, the other boy keens at the phrase, pulled into a tight hug as he whispers it back.

“ _ Bloom, bloom, pow. _ ”

“I love you too, pretty boy.”

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on twt @heonynchans if you want


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